"THE List"

I have to confess about me receiving a detention. Sure everyone is abhorrent about the detention after school or just need to scream and blame on someone else. But I have to say what's in my head. So anyways on Thursday and Friday I misbehaved with a substitute and I guess she didn't like it. So the substitute had a list that she could put a name of a person who disrespected or did anything bad in the class. It turns out that almost everyone except 3 people were not on the list so everyone else had detention. I bet you she looked at some names on a list and starting picking out random names that she wanted to put on the list. Because some people she didn't even know and didn't ask for the name. Others were put in for lame reasons. But I admit that I did wrong by disrespecting the substitute when she asked me to move seats. But what about the other people??? Some just got their time wasted for no reason. Others came to the detention for a reason, like myself. So I think you should be on the list if you have done something that's very bad.

Adoption

I remember when I was very young my mom would tell me how I became to be to be who I am today. The first time she told me this she started like "Would you like to know how you ended up here?" And I would say yes. She said that every time she would have a baby in her stomach he or she would die immediately. So she decided to go to Colombia because some uncles of her live their and she wanted to make an adoption. She wanted two kids no matter if it's a boy or girl. Then she would end "And that's how I got you". Two years after adopting me, another baby girl who turned out to be my sister was also adopted. As I got older I asked my mom to tell me the story again but she never told me the story again. I guess she just waited until I was older so I could understand it.

But the sad part is the fact that the people I was born from probably didn't care about me so they just left me in a hospital. But the truth behind this is that she was a 15 year old girl that had me in her stomach and she just couldn't take care of me. So she let me go. I haven't even seen a picture of them. I don't know who I was born from... I hear people say I don't look like my sister or any of my parents. So I have to explain the reason. But who could of known that this Panamanian family would adopt me. What would of happen to me? What would become of me? Would I be like I am right now?

Kenny

It was in my uncle Kennie's room,
where I grew
the devil's horns
on my head.
Where I made him go loud
but he taught me insanity.
Where I made him go crazy
But he taught me respect.
Where I angered him
but he taught me to raise hell.
Where I made him out of control
but he taught me indigence.
Where I mad him go mad
but he taught me how to be outrageous.
And honestly I like him for that.
He's not like the other uncle's,
saying how much I've grown
saying how school is
saying what I like to do.
He used to be in the army
the 3rd infantry division,
"Marne Division".
I guess that's why he's so damn tough
but I like him for that.
I guess were both evil in our ways
but neither one of us would never admit it
because one of us would have one up
on the other.
But now he works in the pentagon
all quiet and peaceful.
But yeah actually he's a softy
deep inside
kinda like me...

My fractured Finger

You might be wondering why I have a big blue pack of gel on my finger. Well it all started on Tuesday when we were playing basketball in PE and someone passed the ball but I intercepted the pass. I heard a "crack" at the impact of the ball hitting the finger. The pulse started to grow faster. The finger is now inflating and turning into different colors, from purple to green to red, then it just gets thick and fat. I decide not to tell anyone because I thought i simply just jammed it and who cares it will heal in a few minutes. So I keep on playing as if nothing happened and their was so much adrenaline in my body that I didn't feel any pain at the moment.

When I got home and after finishing homework I slept on the finger I had hurt. So when I woke up it started to hurt more than usual. I thought again, whatever in a few minutes it won't hurt. But it was until i got in my mom's car that when my sister got in she thought I wasn't going to school so she slams the car door shut, hard as always. But my finger is caught in the way. "Gaa!" I whisper, then hold my breath and exhale from my nose. I hop in the car and I show my sister the finger she rearranged. She starts laughing with her evil little grin and just giggles softly. Well I don't think she did it on purpose. (Obviously she meant it) I glanced at my mom and she had this look of "move it" which looks like a straight face. She hadn't seen a thing so then I thought why should I tell her? So I didn't of course.

At school people saw my deformed finger and asked me what happened, so I explain but NO they keep on hitting it thinking its funny. But when I get home it starts to hurt more and more. Until I couldn't take it anymore and went across the street to buy the little caste for the finger and the gel pack in the Metro. I had a big thing on my finger but my parents hadn't even noticed so why bother telling them if they couldn't care less. I even looked for some pills to relieve the pain. And even right now it still hurts a little so just don't hit my poor little finger.

Get Outta My Life

Why do feelings have to mess around with your life? They get in your way. They help you on other things. So many profound feelings, just swim around your mind, and you don't even notice. They just start kicking you, but you cant do anything about it.

Like when, you have a big smile across your face all day long. You feel free, open, willing to do anything and simply jumping on your feet. You don't think about anything, just play along and laugh until your cheeks hurt. Your dying of laughter and tears of joy fill your face. But what happens when karma just turns around and bites you?

Like when your completely despondent about someones death and you can't hold back the tears. Your fighting back the pain but just making it harder. The feeling ignores your entreaty to stop it. It impels your command away and takes control. Shouts of yourself crying reverberates in your mind and theirs no stopping it. The mind turns off and just tries to find a solution.

Like when your just pissed off and life seems like an interminable journey of pain. You go crazy, you can't control yourself, you scream at people with a tremulous voice thinking its the answer. You feel the need to become a recluse when theirs nothing else to do in life. Until you lose it and abhor the cruel world and damn the whole universe. You see an open window and you just want to fly. You see a glock and you just want to pop it in your face. You see a knife and you just want to slit the Adam's apple.

Until you try and put your life back together. You have hopes now, it's you against the world now. Your all alone and things start to make sense. You can't get any advice from no sage or your mother. No you have to stand up and fight. Because you know whats right and nothing stands in your way. So don't judge me or I'll raise you ten feet high. Ill be your nightmare and haunt you every now and then. Ill drop a bomb and finish you off. I don't care when I die, I'll take you with me straight to hell.

Yeah I'm talking to it, so just get outta my life. You follow me everywhere like my shadow or the stink of my feet. So I say get outta my life.

My List

1. It has really been taking me a long time to think of what to confess about and theirs really so much in my mind I dont know how to say it so Ill try to focus on other things.

2. I found out that I weigh much more than last year, quote by the doctor "You surely don't weigh more because of food."

3. I USED TO eat sugar right out of a bucket, like plain sugar all by itself. Until their was no more sugar and my mom didnt buy anymore, but she never found out. But that was a loong time ago.

4. I don't know why but this year I have been wanting to play soccer more than ever.

5. Sometimes I say things I don't really mean.

7. I talked with a homeless guy (again) after running some miles. Why does he start talking to ME, is it my face, what I buy or the fact that I walk in the streets alone almost everyday?? eh come on tell me! it's not that I'm starting to be friends with a hobo, no, no way, ahh but who cares!

8. If your smart enough you would notice I was missing a 6 but no you people are so dumb! jkjk

Parents

When I get home I can never have a normal conversation with either of my parents. It's either, "Hey go get this across the street" or "Go do your homework" or "Feed the dogs will ya?" I cant please everyone right. I try my best but they are always cranky or pissed off, maybe in a bad mood but it's still the same. Well and I believe I do have a right to get angry too and fight back. "Mom I'm sick and tired of all these things...".
"What ever just do your work today your sleeping early."
And other things I have said,
"No I don't care what you bought"
"No I won't help you"
"No I won't go with you."
Lately I have been trying to put myself in her shoes. (found out it's a good way to solve things out, you should try it) And well guess what, I just haven't been appreciating things, things she does to me and gives me. Sure we have our ups and downs but that's all part of growing up huh. I really hope I can improve this situation.

Roller Coaster

I waited patiently
in that long line
to buy the tickets
for the ride
while holding her hand.
Though expensive
it's worth it
it's still worth it.

We make our way
up the lifthill.
"click clack click."
Our hearts are laced,
hands are held,
but then it all stops.
That sensation of butterflies in your stomach
just goes away.

As time flies,
it ticks away.
The clock's run out,
its too late know,
shes looking at that other guy
on the other cart
but not at me.

Ive reached the top,
My heart's been catapulted
this way and that.
It's time for the freefall,
just hit the ground and get over it.

Even the smallest parts,
the nails and screws have been torn.
They all break down and everything just starts to fall apart.
I cant fix a broken piece,
I ask for some help but NO
it's impossible.
It's like this damn black cloud just following me around
it's time to exercises these demons!
Their's a beast inside of me
ready to explode any minute,
and I'm holding the pain.

So at that split second,
where you knew it would happen,
where you reached the dead spot
where their's no more path to follow.
You start to realize,
when you come back to the real world
shes not their anymore
dont get me wrong
she never did wrong
she's not the "bad guy"
she's not who to blame
she's not to be crticized.
But Ill be man enough to let her go
But know nothing matters without her.

letter to patt

Juan Diego Jimenez

4747 This Street

Jamestown, VA

September 8, 2010

Dear Patt,

Wats sup my man? I heard you got married a couple of months ago. That's nice to hear. I'm glad you could easily extricate yourself by that divorce. And I sure hope that doesn't recur like last year. A lot has changed over here as well. My parents have already modified some designs for a new house, but we still haven't moved, probably like next year. I like that your not the type of uncle that says like "oh wow you have grown so much" and bla bla bla. It is imperative that you come see us, or you never know, we might make a spontaneous trip over to your place.

I still remember when we went on your boat and you threw me off the boat for eating all your cookies. And how I would swim towards a rock and jump on it, and how you would encompass me with your boat trying to terrify me. Yeah that was fun alright. I hope someday we can meet up again!

Sincerely,

Juan Diego Jimenez

6 things to know about me

1. The dinner that always waits to be eaten is meat and veggies. Iv'e heard that many people say that kids dont care about their health but hey it tastes good actually.
2. I drink a lot of milk and eggs tasty as well, good for growth quoted by mom.
3. Ive realized that I eat a lot of weird food. and willing to try anything.
4. In my house I feel like Im one of those guys running around the jungle trying to survive. And im the prey, so guess whos the predator, PARENTS!!!
5. theres a benefit in having to do chores at home, its that I get payed$$$.
6. Iv'e realized that like a lot of people write about who they like and the crush they have on someone. And I feel like I'm soo past that, and I'm like more advanced, and theres a change from 7th to 8 grade. A big one.

The Clinic

In the summer time of course some people had fun other didn't. But well, I guess I did. Like going to Miami, the beach, shopping spree, football, and just relaxation. What really is stuck in my mind was the football practices. Although it was only 5 days it was an experience that I could never forget. Some coaches from "El Tecnologico de Monterrey University" from Mexico came to coach us, also some New yorkers. People of many ages were invited and all that played football. I was the only one of my age, only one of my team, and probably the only one without a car. Guys from the Varsity league came and they were about 17-21 year olds. The came in their own cars with beer bottles falling out of the car and some of them brought their girlfriends I guess just to show off. But the youngest, besides me, were 16 and 17 year-olds. I'm really lucky it wasn't contact or any hitting because obviously I would get pummeled. But yeah i talked with some guys and theres no need to be scared right. The practices were for 5 days from four to nine and it was like a clinic. Taught me all sorts of things their is to run faster, which it really helped. After those days passed I started being more helpful around the house and willing to do more things. Now I just have to deal with things, I can't fight back now.

50 Cents

After my daily routine of running a mile or more I make use of the cash that I still have. I rest for a while and watch some school kid chase their bus. And others just making out on a bench. (of course I don't stare at that) I make my way through the crowd of pedestrians and go to Popeye's. It used to smell so nasty, which brings back other memories... I remember when I asked some guy why it smelled so bad and he said it was some chemical release. (Like if he knew what he was talking about.) A poor and homeless Colombian man asked me for some change, he was old and looked ready to die. So I was kind enough to give him 50 cents from my wallet.

In the line to buy the chicken, the aroma of the spicy chicken filled with barbecue sauce filled the new scented room. But it was until it was my turn to order that the lady told me I was 50 cents short. I stare at the homeless guy through the glass windows and I tell the lady its OK that Ill go somewhere else. So I walk out and go next door to Subways. Then their I could buy a good club sandwich. After gobbling up the sandwich I go outside and smell the fuel coming from the buses and all the cars passing by. (Wow this is messed up) I make some calls like changing dentists appointments and calling other friends to tell me whats the homework.

And after that the homeless guy comes up to me again. I could clearly tell he is Colombian because he is waving a small Colombian flag and speaks that way too. He starts blabbing about how the FARC are kidnapping people and he and his family need money to save others. And that some U.S. oil company is planning to build some oil field on their land, which are the U'wa people. I understood well because I know some things that are going on over their but then I walked away and pretended I was on the phone. JA how did he get all the way here, I thought.