Realization

I have to confess that I'm really not nice with my sister. Sure that most of the time normally brothers and sisters fight. But what I have done is realized the horrible things I've said and done. My sister always greets me when I wake up, when I come from football practice, when I come from a friend's house, and basically every time she sees me. But I have realized that I say things like"Get outta here." Or" I don't want to see your face." And then she asks me how was my day but I also realize I say things like"What do you care." But the hardest part to it is when my parents here me saying it. Sometimes I can't control myself, so words just pop out of my mouth because I don't have anything else to say.

So my parents teach me a lesson, a tremendous smack in the back of my head by my father's big hands, and then a cheap shot on my cheek by my mom when I'm not looking. My father also hits me for other random reasons not even I can realize. They hit me so much its probably they're hobby. But that's all my fault, because I can't get to understand the importance of not bullying my sister as my mom says. And other times I just play around with my sister in a fun way, well for me and then she tells my parents. I don't try to run, I don't try to hide nor defend myself. Just accept it and show them that I'm not scared because they are my parents. I stand their, waiting on their next move because I don't have another card to play.

When teaching me a lesson my parents main goal is to scare me so I won't do the same thing over and over again. That's just what I can't accomplish. "I'm gonna break those braces and you gonna end up with no teeth! You hear me!" The anger of dad rings through my mind. What he says every time. And I remember what mom says. "Do you know why you're here!? Because of the disrespect you have caused in this family! When will you ever learn!" mom says.
"When I feel like it." I say. I always look at both my parents straight in the eye. But after my response comes the slap. Which is completely my fault. Well the majority of the reasons my parents hit me aren't for this. This is a big realization that I still have to work on. And being nice is where it all starts.